hooray i’m engaged

How amazing God is.  God definitely provides more than we can ever think, ever imagine, ever contemplate, ever deserve.  This is coming severa days late but the message is still the same, i’m engaged.

It happened last Thursday on Thanksgiving (11/27/08) in Coventry England.  It’s just amazing how God can bring 2 people from around the world together at a church retreat (which I used to make fun of for people meeting there) and allow their relationship to grow and continue in Him.

I’m definitely not deserving of God and His love, blessings, or gifts, yet He answered all my prayers, and more than I even thought.  Now if you want more details you can always ask, post a comment, or just get in touch with me.  In the end though, God has been so gracious and I can’t thank Him enough for being able to say that I am engaged to the most amazing girl in the world.

thank you dave whitcomb

So a very very very good friend of mine, dave whitcomb, gave me this band recommendation and anyone in to the Christian music scene might want to give these guys a listen to…

They’re called “The Almost”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQ-Z8uxH9xs dirty and left out

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BuhrwqSHG_Y say this sooner

dave whitcomb, you are the man

simple love

Such an easy question to ask, but a very difficult one to answer based on everyone’s individual experiences.  Love may refer to happiness when receiving a gift.  Love may refer to the way something feels (a cool pillow on a hot summer night, a warm towel when you come out of the shower, etc.).  I was born in 1982 so my definition of love may differ from those growing up after me, and as I said before my definition is based on my personal experiences, including what I have seen around me.

As a Kindergarten teacher, I see parents walk in and out of my classroom and drop their children off, kiss them, then walk away.  Now you can see how much the children love their parents by how fast they quickly run back out of the classroom to give their parents one last hug and kiss.  As the school year starts, you see how much children love their parents when they ask, “When is my mom coming,” or when they are napping and have a bad dream say, “I want my mommy.”  Love can be a number of emotions and there is no right or wrong way of being in love.

As far back as I remember, my dad has always had a night job.  Even as I am writing this, he is getting ready to go to work.  At 10:30 every night, he wakes up, puts on his work clothes, calls me to tell me a few things I should do to help make the house look clean for my mom in the morning, and then walks out.  Numerous nights I would watch him as he turned his back and left through the front door, walked to the car, unlocked it, turned on the headlights, put the car in reverse, and drove off down the street.  Numerous nights I would watch him put on his coat, hat, and gloves, start the car, take out his ice scraper, and scrape the car.  Numerous nights I would watch him carry his umbrella in the pouring rain all the way down to his car.

My mom would work the whole day from 10:00 am – 9:00 pm as a waitress in two different restaurants.  She would come home late after being on her feet all day and spend time helping us with our homework, doing puzzles with us, and just showing love to us through her tired eyes and smile, but there was joy in all of her facial expressions.

When I was younger, I remember my dad used to work two jobs.  His first job would start Sunday nights from 11:00 pm until 7:30 in the morning, then he would go to his second job working as an accountant in the UAE embassy from 8:00 am – 4:00 pm.  Yet he would always coach soccer for my brother and myself, and take us to t-ball games when we were younger.  He was always there on the Saturday games and would always take us to church on Sunday.  He is a machine.  If I were to list all that he had done, is doing, and will continue to do for the family, it is just absurd to think about.  And to him, love is seeing all those around him happy.  Not the general group, but everyone around him.

Over the last few years, my mom also started working the night job.  They both work in D.C., but for the longest time they were taking two different cars to work because some times my dad would have to leave early, or my mom would be with one of her friends, so they would drive alone.  Recently my parents started carpooling.  They would both wake up now, change into their work clothes, my mom would stay up putting on her make up, my father would come down and start to boil water for my mom’s tea and bring the cold cuts and bread out for her to make a sandwich, my mom would then come down, and my dad would then go into the car to turn on the air condition, because he knows she likes it on when she goes in the car.  My mom would just thank him and continue on her way.

I remember a few nights ago I was just standing at the front door of the house, watching them walk down the stairs together and thinking how much they love each and care for each other.  Such simple love that is plain to see.

It’s not the fancy toys that I remember.  It’s not the fancy games that I played.  It’s not the fancy clothes I remember growing up.  It’s watching my father leave late at night while his headlights danced as he turned and shined on the other houses.  It’s watching my mom take off her work shoes and ask if I finished my homework.  It’s seeing both my parents and grandparents at our soccer and t-ball games every Saturday handing out oranges slices and hi-c after a long week at work.

I just pray my wife and I could one day walk down our front stairs together, walk to a park, hold hands, and watch our kids through the front door as they see how much we love each other and want to spend time with each other.  We imitate what we see.  I have seen amazing acts of love and sacrifice in my life, and pray I can piece it all together with the love of Christ to spread throughout the world with my wife.

joshua 1:8-9

It is amazing to see God’s love shining through His promises.  It is even more amazing holding God accountable to His promises.  By all means, today should have been a disaster.  Today should have been the worst day in the history of either working in a summer camp or running the summer camp in 10 years for myself.  Yet, it all started out with a promise.

The following are verses from the book of Joshua:

“Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Meditate on the Bible and you will succeed.  Know God’s promises and hold Him accountable and you will prosper.  How much more can God do for us?  He encourages us to be strong.  Sorry I made a mistake.  He COMMANDS us to be strong and courageous.  Yet if we are terrified or discouraged, He comforts us by stating He will be with us wherever we go.

Today 3 of our 7 staff members called in sick, or had a prearranged absence.  Our volunteers from high school had their own leadership camp starting at the same time, so half of our volunteers were gone, and they are amazing volunteers.  So what was I supposed to do?

“Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.  Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field” ~ Matthew 9:37

I held God accountable to His promise, and told Him in all honesty that this was His camp and to send the laborers that He saw fit.  We tend to only remember the first part of the verse, but completely ignore the second half of the verse.  We need to pray that God send more laborers.

In a matter of minutes, we had rearranged the remaining teachers to cover for the 3 and 4 year olds, while I helped cover for the kindergarten and 1st grade teacher.  2 new volunteers came in to help who are amazing.  The first is a young woman who had summer camp experience and a background in psychology, while the other is a mother of 3 who misses playing with children.

Even if God did not provide volunteers, do I have any right to be upset?  If God has given us 5 blessed weeks of camp, who are we to complain about 1 bad day?  1 bad week?  3 bad weeks?  We have no right.  God is the one in control and it is His camp.  It is His will that will be done in the end and our opportunity to learn from them.  God gave Job everything and then God took it away.  Was it Job’s to begin with?  Is it my camp to begin with?  Who am I to argue with God or complain to Him?  He is the Creator and Author and Finisher of my life.  How could I argue or fight with Him?

Hopefully next time I will  write about psalm 50 as mentioned in the previous post.

God’s love for us

This is the story of a father who had a son who was physically disabled since birth.  His son one day said he wanted to run a triathalon and this is the video from that day.

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=8cf08faca5dd9ea45513

Next post – psalm 50:10-13

40 martyrs of sebaste

What I love about the 40 saints / martyrs is their love for each other and their trust in God.  If you have a chance to read the lives of the saints books 1 and 2 you can read a more detailed version.

The following story is taken from http://www.copticchurch.net/synaxarium/7_13.html#3

On this day also the holy forty martyrs of the city of Sebastia were martyred. Emperor Constantine the great had appointed his friend Lecius ruler for the east and commanded him to treat the Christians well. When he arrived to his headquarter, he ordered his subordinate to worship the idols but they refused and cursed his idols. That night some of the soldiers and their children, from the city of Sebastia, made an agreement among themselves to go to the governor confessing their faith. While they were sleeping the angel of the Lord appeared to them, strengthened them and comforted their hearts.

In the morning they stood before the Governor and confessed their faith in the Lord christ, he threatened them but they were not afraid. He commanded his men to stone them, but the stones came back upon those who stoned them. He ordered to throw them in a nearby lake, which was icy. Their organs were severed because of the excessive cold. One of them whose strength was weakened, went out of the icy water and entered the bath house nearby the lake. The heat in the bath house melted the ice that was on him but he died quickly, and lost his reward.

One of the guards saw angels descending from the heaven and in their hands crowns, they placed them over the heads of the thirty nine martyrs and remained one crown in the hand of the angel. The guard went down into the lake shouting “I am christian…I am christian.” He took the crown that was in the hand of the angel and was counted among the martyrs.

Among the martyrs, were young men, whose mothers encouraged and strengthened them. Because they remained in the lake for a long time and they did not die, the Governor wished to break their legs, but the Lord took their souls and reposed them. He ordered to burn their bodies and to cast them after that into the sea. As they were carrying them out of the lake, they found a young man alive, so they left him. His mother took him and tried to threw him on the wagon with his mates but they put him off the wagon again for he was still alive. His mother took him and he died in her bosom so she put him back on the wagon. They took them outside the city and cast them into the fire which did not harm them, then they casted them into the river.

On the third day those holy martyrs appeared to the Bishop of Sebastia in a vision and told him: “Go to the river and take our bodies.” He went with the priests, deacons and the people to the river and found the bodies. They carried the bodies with great honor and placed them in a beautiful shrine, and their strife was heard in all the countries.

May their prayers be with us and Glory be to God forever. Amen.

Next post – video clip

the moses theory

The key to life is knowing why you God created you.  So why did God create you?  simple, to use you.  But as to what is your specific role in life, I cannot answer, but can only tell you to pray so God will guide you.  I will write of my situation though and what God wants from me.  I know that every child of God has a different role and a different purpose, but at some point in your life you have asked the questions I asked or have felt what I felt.

Recently God has made it clear that I should have no friends, colleagues, or anyone close to me.  No small group, no fraternity brothers, no nothing.  But isn’t that agaisnt a lot of what we hear and talk about in church?  Doesn’t the church say we are better together?  Doesn’t the church say that there is strength in numbers of God’s children (12 disciples, children of Israel, etc).  Matthew 18:20 says, “For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.”  So then why did God allow me to be alone?  Why did God allow me to have no friends or group to help me?  And as I was thinking about this it came to me.  Moses.

Previously I wrote about fighting with God like Jacob did.  We have to lose everything to gain God.  We have to get rid of all the obstacles in our path and find God.  I previously had prayed for this, and God had blessed me with 6 months of growing closer to Him.  But I didn’t.  Let me say that again.  God blessed me with me with free time, He answered my prayer, He gave me exactly what I wanted, but I didn’t take advantage of that opportunity.  Instead of praying daily and doing quiet time daily, I began playing video games and became worthless.  I hit rock bottom.  I would sleep late, wake up early, I was a bum.  Yet when I did read my Bible, God would make it clear He was all I needed.  He made it clear that I was in the wilderness and He was all I needed.

God wanted to use Moses and no one else.  God wanted Moses to lead His children into the promised land and do wonders through Him.  Moses looked at His weakness and insisted for help, it was at this time that “the LORD’s anger burned against Moses” (Exodus 4:14).  God knew Moses’ potential and knew that He could use Moses in an amazing way.  Moses insisted, and kept insisting for someone else to do the work for him.  Moses wanted someone to work with him so he wouldn’t have to do God’s will alone.  The problem to this is that God might have a plan for the indvidual helping you.  God might have had a completely different plan for Aaron, but because Moses was close to God, God allowed Moses the gift he wanted, even though it burned God inside.

I asked for more time with God, I was granted more time with God, I took advantage of it, I can only imagine what God was feeling towards me at this time.

Not only that, I begged and pleaded with God to send me an Aaron, or a Jonathan (in terms of King David).  God didn’t send either.  He made it clear that the only One I should, can, and will rely on, is Him.  The only One I need is Him.  I fought so long and hard to find my Aaron and only ended up creating stumbling blocks for myself.  I spent time looking and begging for someone to share my secrets with, pray with, and do mission work with, yet instead of praying and accepting God’s will, I spent it arguing with Him, and guess what, in the end, He was right.

He made it clear to ME specifically that I should rely on no other individual but Him.  Psalm 146:3 reminded me to not put my trust in princes, in mortal men who cannot save.  I don’t need anyone but God.  I am not saying that God will leave me without friends or anyone close for a while, but what I am saying is that now God wants me to focus on Him and only Him.  Not everyone needs an Aaron, but everyone needs God.

I am by no means upset or sad that I have no one close, nor am I upset that I spent 6 months blatantly fighting against God.  In fact now that I have come back to Him, I can’t thank Him enough for His blessing and grace during that time.  If you look 2 posts above, and click on the link, you’ll see what I am talking about His grace and love.

Next post – 40 martyrs of sebaste.

Psalm 23

2 years.

24 months.

730 days.

How miserable they have been.

I have been struggling with God, in fact fighting with Him trying to build my relationship with Him, yet I have willingly strayed 10,000 times.  The one thing I want, need and pray for, when given the opportunity I run away from.  God has blessed me numerously and extended His arms to me waiting for me to completely run back to Him.  I have had some high points but probably three times as many low points.  So what about psalm 23?

Recently I have been diagnosed with torn ligaments in my ankle which has made it tough for me to walk on unleveled ground.   This past weekend I went on the High School Boys Retreat to serve them and I was going to my normal quiet time spot, but was unable to walk there.  As I started walking I saw a long branch, picked it up, and started walking.  once I picked it up, psalm 23 popped into my head.

In 2006 I wanted to truly live psalm 23.  I wanted to lie down in green pastures and be lead to quiet waters.  I wanted to walk through the valley of the shadow of death,  and I wanted to dwell in the house of the Lord forever.  Yet due to full time work, full time school, lack of a small group and real close friends, I have truly strayed from God.  Instead of Him leading me through the valley of the shadow of death and to the green pastures, I ran to them myself.  I ran to all that I wanted, yet it wasn’t in God’s time.  I “enjoyed” the green pastures by myself, and now am in the middle of the valley of the shadow of death.  I willingly strayed, and God, as loving of a Father as He is waited for me to come back.

Picking up the staff I started walking thinking of how far I strayed and how no matter what happens God will always love me and wait for me to come back.  As I sat down and opened up my quiet time, the verse was psalm 23.  First He blesses me and keeps giving me messages, then He gives me my own staff, then He provides me with the psalm that I want to hold Him accountable to.  I felt so humble in His presence, just sitting down with His Word and the staff He had given me to walk through the woods.

Nothing deep and profound in this blog entry, but it is amazing how God provides and wants us to come back to Him.  God has reminded me of psalm 23 and how I want to hold Him accountable.  Do you hold God accountable to His promises?  Do you know His promises?  If not, I challenge you to find one promise and hold Him accountable.

Next time I hope to talk about the Moses theory and then after the 40 saints of sebaste 🙂

hosea

God truly hears our cries for mercy and help. In my search for God, He has spoken to me, but only vaguely. The last 18 months have been extremely hard and I have strayed away from my first love. It has been a while since I read the Bible and prayed, and yet God has been faithful to tell me what to do next in our relationship. Today’s quiet time came from Hosea 2:14-20:

14 “ Therefore, behold, I will allure her,
Will bring her into the wilderness,
And speak comfort to her.
15 I will give her her vineyards from there,
And the Valley of Achor as a door of hope;
She shall sing there,
As in the days of her youth,
As in the day when she came up from the land of Egypt.
16 “ And it shall be, in that day,”
Says the LORD,

“ That you will call Me ‘My Husband,’^[c]
And no longer call Me ‘My Master,’^[d]
17 For I will take from her mouth the names of the Baals,
And they shall be remembered by their name no more.
18 In that day I will make a covenant for them
With the beasts of the field,
With the birds of the air,
And with the creeping things of the ground.
Bow and sword of battle I will shatter from the earth,
To make them lie down safely.
19 “ I will betroth you to Me forever;
Yes, I will betroth you to Me
In righteousness and justice,
In lovingkindness and mercy;
20 I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness,
And you shall know the LORD.

Along with that, I have been trying to finish the Bible in 90 days, and came across 2 Chronicles 6:12-42. King Solomon dedicated this prayer to God asking God to forgive His children of any sin they will commit in the future, and that once they turn back to God, that He may forgive them. Though I have been unfaithful in summarizing what was said, the message that God sent to me is clear, “come back.” God knows that I am, and that I will do whatever it takes to be His friend, son, servant again.

So where do I go from here? Whatever the answer is, I have to go where He calls me and right now, I must prepare to go into the desert.

Deas Vail

While hanging out with my brother Mina a few weeks ago, he introduced me to a new band, Deas Vail.  Upon reading what their name meant, it blew my mind for two reasons:

1) the meaning

2) that a band would use this as their name.

Deas is latin for “God”

Vail is French for “humble servant.”

God’s humble servant.

As I finish up my masters degree in elementary education  I want to be God’s humble servant.  Where will this lead me?  Only He knows.  Will I stay in Fairfax?  Will I stay in Virginia?  Will I stay in America?  To be His humble servant means that wherever He tells me to go, that is where I will go.  How amazing to not know the answer 🙂

I pray we can all be Deas Vail and struggle for this.